Getting off the fence of indecision
By Kim Deans
Decision making is a frequent focus of the coaching conversations I have with clients. Even though we make decisions every day, often fast and on the run, some decisions can put our heads in a spin and create sleepless nights and lost opportunities when we get stuck ruminating over the right course of action.
In agriculture there is no shortage of complex decisions that we can’t google the answer to. Consulting experts for the answers to guide us can still leave us floundering and falling short of the outcomes we know are possible. We operate in an uncertain, volatile environment where success relies on applying principles appropriately in our unique and complex context. Even when we gather what information we can to make an informed decision and consider how it aligns with our vision, values, and goals we can still feel indecisive.
I recently sat on the fence of indecision grappling with a decision that required an investment of time, energy, and money from me with no guaranteed outcomes. I weighed up all the options. I considered my values along with what I needed to know more about to feel good about the decision I made. I looked for opportunities and contemplated how I would feel if things didn’t turn out how I hoped. In the end I simply listened to my gut and made a decision that felt right. I can now see with the benefit of hindsight, (the only way we can know if a decision is “good” or not) this decision ended up being the “right” one for reasons I had no way of knowing at the time..
Decision making can be complex and there can be many aspects to uncovering the root cause of indecision when we find ourselves sitting on the fence. I have been reading recently how embodied decision making that includes the logic of the head, the emotions of the heart and the intuition of the gut informs wise decisions characteristic of impactful leadership. I was interested to read how research has shown how the sequence of considering our head, heart and gut makes a significant difference to how they work together and the wisdom that does or does not emerge from the process. “It makes a difference if our thoughts are influencing our feelings or if our feelings are influencing our thoughts, or if our gut reactions shape our perceptions and thinking versus our thought processes triggering our gut reactions.” (Oka & Soosalu, 2015)
The foundational sequence of accessing our three brains that has been found to be the most generative in its results according to Oka & Soosalu (2015) is:
1) Start with the heart: What do I feel?
2) Move to the head: What do I think?
3) Move back to the heart: What do I feel?
4) Move down to the gut: What does my intuition tell me?
5) Finally, move back to the heart: What do I feel now?
My recent decision making merry go round experience has been a yet another reminder for me to get out of my head! Even though I am very intuitive and also have tools at my disposal like dowsing and muscle testing to support me, when I am stuck in my head, I don’t always realise I need to get out of my head, and I forget to use the tools I have that can realign me with my inner knowing.
My personal experience combined with my reading has been an opportunity to become aware of how my indecision was being fuelled by the conflicting information coming from my head, heart, and gut in relation to this decision. This created the confusion that kept me on the fence of indecision. Once I made the choice to listen to my intuition and realised this felt right to me, I was able to jump off the fence and move on with clarity without a second thought. When we spend too much time in our heads and disregard our feelings and intuition, we easily get stuck on the fence of indecision.
Confusion is a clear indication that we are stuck in our heads! Sitting on the fence of indecision happens when we are stuck in our heads and ignoring our other decision-making capacities.
“I am not a product of my circumstances, I am a product of my decisions.” - Stephen Covey
Reference: Marvin Oka and Grant Soosalu. (2015) The Three Brains of Leadership – harnessing the wisdom of the head, heart and gut brains for generative and adaptive leadership. https://theperformancesolution.com/three-brains-leadership/